Drugs and Alcohol
Substance Abuse can be Funny...
Q: What not to tell the cop that just pulled you over:
Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
A young man on acid walked into a dentist's office and said, " Can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
The dentist said, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist." "Yes, I know," the man said.
The dentist asked, "So then why did you come in here?" The man replied, "The light was on."
Q: What do you have in a room full of tweakers?
A: A complete set of teeth!
Partial Dosage
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked thepharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. Howmany do you want?" The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces." The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sexanymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Alcohol and calculus dont mix...Dont drink and derive.
Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested at the airport for drug smuggling?
Apparently she bent over and someone saw fifty pounds of crack...
Drug Addiction is a serious subject, so all joking aside if you or someone you know are facing serious alcoholism or drug abuse issues, seek out treatment at a drug rehab center where drug detoxification, or an alcohol rehab facility where alcohol detoxification can be done safely and effectively. Start by searching here.